A Better Day

I had a much better day today.

I had to drive for the first time in a long time. Last time I drove I got a panic attack, and I’ve been having panic attacks even just as a passenger lately, so I was nervous about getting behind the wheel this morning.

I’m back in my car – an Acura – after driving a big Range Rover. The anxiety was gone today! I’m starting to wonder if it was the other car that was making me so anxious on the road, because it’s so big.

Anyway I drove to the doctor’s office near the air base with no issues. I waited for the doctor, made some conversation with staff, and got through my appointment with ease. I am still having issues with my face twitching when I talk to people, even if I’m feeling no anxiety (like today). I hope it goes away.

My mouth turns down at the corner too really bad and I can’t control it. I have to wipe it off my face physically with my hand. My husband notices but I’m not sure how much other people notice. Hopefully with things improving it will go, because it’s a new thing that’s only been there a month or so.

After I was done at the doctor’s, I had some car trouble. It was starting and cutting out and then it stalled on my way out of the medical base. I was really glad there were a couple of cops on the gate who helped me push the car over to the side, and they were really nice about it. I called my husband who works just a few minutes away, but while I waited it started again and seemed to run fine.

I think it was the battery being a little flat after being sat for the whole winter. I was scared to drive home in case it cut out again but it didn’t. I got home safe. And despite all those issues I still didn’t get bad anxiety and I still felt fine in the car.

From an anxiety and depression point of view, today is where I want to be. I’m not sure what has changed but I’m feeling so much better. Obviously I need to have this for a few days in a row, not just one, and maybe I should hold off on feeling excited, but it feels so good to feel good!!

…

I had actually gone to the doctor because I’ve had really painful shoulder blade pain for over a month now. The doctor reckons it is a rotator cuff injury from sitting badly and straining it. I personally think it’s a trapped nerve, but what do I know?! I have muscle relaxers now which are helping with the pain, but I don’t have many of them unfortunately. I have also been referred for physical therapy.

It hurts doing most things sitting or standing, such as cooking, the dishes, watching TV, being on my laptop – a lot of the things I do. Lying down is the only time it doesn’t hurt.I hope it gets better soon. I’ve never done physical therapy before so that will be interesting.